The galaxy, for all its wonders, cannot make a decent cup of tea. I have tried. I have tried on spaceships, in restaurants, and once in a machine that claimed to understand Earth beverages. Every attempt has been a disappointment.

There are many things I miss about Earth. High on the list, just below tea and a functioning door handle, is the full English breakfast. It is the only meal I have found that can make the universe feel, however briefly, like a sensible place.