The galaxy, for all its wonders, cannot make a decent cup of tea. I have tried. I have tried on spaceships, in restaurants, and once in a machine that claimed to understand Earth beverages. Every attempt has been a disappointment.
The Heart of Gold: A Review of the Universe's Most Improbable Ship
The Heart of Gold is a ship powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive. It is also a ship powered by ego, stolen architecture, and a small robot who wants very much to be left alone. Here is my review.
Spotting a Dangerous Alien in Under Six Seconds
The galaxy is full of creatures. Most of them are harmless, some are helpful, and a small percentage will try to eat your shoes or your central nervous system. The trick is spotting the dangerous ones before they have finished their sentence.
An Apology for the Digital Watch
The digital watch was a low point in human civilization. This may seem like a strange thing to say while stranded in space, but I have had a lot of time to think about it, and I have reached the conclusion that the digital watch was wrong.
How to Enjoy a Sunset in Triplicate
The sunset is one of the galaxy's most overrated daily phenomena. It is also one of the most under-regulated. I have prepared a short guide to appreciating it properly, in the Vogon manner, which is the only manner worth mentioning.