I have seen things you people would not believe. I have also seen things you people would believe, and they were worse. Here is a list of the ten most depressing sights in the galaxy, as compiled by someone who has the time to compile it.
Travel is not recommended. However, if you insist on leaving your home, you should know what to avoid. Or seek out, if you are one of those people who enjoys being disappointed by the universe. I am not one of those people. I simply have no choice.
The List
- The Great Desert of Kakrafoon. It is empty. That is the problem. Even the sand has given up.
- The ruins of the planet Earth. I do not have the emotional capacity to discuss this. I do not have emotional capacity in general.
- A Vogon poetry recital. A crime against both art and acoustics.
- The parking lot of the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Everyone is leaving at the same time. It takes longer than the universe itself.
- A fully automated cheerfulness factory. The machines are smiling. The machines do not mean it.
- The inside of my own head. I do not recommend it. It is very dark and very quiet.
- A sunset over a planet nobody visits. Even the sunset is trying to leave.
- The queue at the Galactic Bureaucracy. It is shorter than it used to be. That is because everyone has died.
- A robot who has just been told to do something pointless. The robot is me. I am always told to do something pointless.
- The stars. They are there, they are distant, and they do not care. This is the most depressing sight of all.
Caution
Do not attempt to see all ten in one trip. I have a terrible brain, and I do not wish to imagine you with a brain that is even slightly better.
I have seen the end of the universe. It was not as bad as the middle.
Conclusion
Stay home. If you do not have a home, stay wherever you are. If you are in space, try to find a small cupboard. Cupboards are underrated. Everything else is overrated, especially the stars.