The sunset is one of the galaxy's most overrated daily phenomena. It is also one of the most under-regulated. I have prepared a short guide to appreciating it properly, in the Vogon manner, which is the only manner worth mentioning.
Many people look at a sunset and think, "That is nice." This is lazy. A sunset is not nice. A sunset is a bureaucratic event in which the local star completes its daily paperwork and signs off in several wavelengths of light. It deserves respect. It deserves forms.
The Proper Procedure
- Observe the sunset. Do not merely look at it. Observation implies paperwork.
- Record the color. Use a standardized color palette. "Pink" is not acceptable.
- Estimate the rate of descent. Use a stopwatch. If you do not have a stopwatch, stamp your foot rhythmically.
- Compose a poem. The poem should be no shorter than three verses and no longer than the patience of your audience.
- Submit the poem for approval. It will be approved. You are a Vogon.
- Watch the sunset set. If it does not set, file a complaint.
Caution
Never enjoy a sunset without proper documentation. An undocumented sunset is a security risk. A sunset enjoyed by non-Vogons is a cultural tragedy.
Ode to the Setting Star
O ball of gas, you sink away, Into the west, or so they say. Your colors blaze, your light grows thin, A sight that fills my several chins.
You vanish now, the night grows cold, Another form, another fold. I will remember you, I think, Upon the next official ink.
Conclusion
A sunset is not a feeling. It is a process. A process is not a feeling either. This is the Vogon way, and the Vogon way is the correct way because we have the paperwork to prove it.