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An Apology for the Digital Watch

A vintage LED digital watch. It is exactly as wrong as described. Photo by Kris Atomic on Unsplash.*

The digital watch was a low point in human civilization. This may seem like a strange thing to say while stranded in space, but I have had a lot of time to think about it, and I have reached the conclusion that the digital watch was wrong.

The digital watch was a plastic device that told you the exact time in numbers, which sounds useful. It was not. It told you the time with a smugness that implied you were being late on purpose. It had no hands, no face, and no sense of occasion. A proper watch has hands that sweep across a dial, giving you the time and also the vague, reassuring feeling that time is a continuous thing rather than a series of rude little numbers.

Why the Analog Watch Was Superior

  • Sweeping second hand: A gentle reminder that time is moving. The digital watch just blinks at you like a suspicious machine.
  • Roman numerals: Pretentious, perhaps, but they gave the time a sense of history.
  • Mainspring: A small mechanical heart that required winding. This made the watch your responsibility. The digital watch just demanded a battery and your attention.
  • Tick: The soft, steady tick of a clock is a conversation. A digital watch is a lecture.

Important

If you ever travel in time, do not rely on a digital watch. The numbers cannot handle the emotional weight of paradox.

What the Galaxy Uses

The rest of the galaxy has moved beyond watches entirely. They use clocks that tell you when you are, which is not always the same as when you think you are. I have met one clock that told me it was Tuesday, and it was very insistent about it, even though I had not been near a Tuesday for several weeks.

A digital watch was the most complicated thing I owned on Earth. Now I own a spaceship. I was happier with the watch. It was wrong, but it was simple.

Conclusion

Bring back analog watches. Bring back clocks with hands. Bring back the quiet, mechanical certainty that the universe is not entirely digital. If the universe is digital, then the universe is a spreadsheet, and I refuse to live in a spreadsheet.

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